The blaring sound of the alarm shook her awake, remnants of her disrupted dream still left hazy patches on her mind. It was good dream, could’ve been better, she thought.

It’s the weekend and yet she’s already up early. With the rays of the awakening sun just starting to snatch peeks behind tangles of stray clouds. She was alone in her house, as always. It has been this way ever since, with her preferring isolation, finding solace and basking in the silence of solitude. But today, she was to go out with her scant friends  and pursue her meager attempts in socialization. Friends. The people who only remembered to invite her at the last minute.

As she was taking a shower, in preparation for the coming day ahead, it dawned on her how everything was probably going to turn out. She’ll dress up, put on a bit of make-up, add on a plastered smile to at least look presentable and mask the weariness. Then she’d meet her friends around the corner and head for the mall to watch a movie, or to the park, or wherever else they might think of to chill and kill time. A little bit of talk here, a little reminiscing of the past years and a moment of sweet nostalgia there. There they’d go, catching up with whatever hullabaloos, making snide comments, witty remarks, even slightly offensive jokes.

These were the things normal people do. Normal people who don’t have pathetic lives. Normal, interesting, joyous people like these stuff. The thought exhausted her. All the pretense and efforts to look like she was savoring their company just to maintain an up to par and acceptable level of social status was slowly getting her down. Whoever said that this was how it’s supposed to be? Everything was so repetitive and routinary, it feels fake. It’s as if their lives have been pre-dictated, like they were ignorant marionettes with unbreakable strings, forced to dance and play over and over again.

These thoughts continued to occupy her head even as she finished her bath. As she stepped out of the bathroom, she headed straight to her bed, slumped down against her pillows. Hair still dripping, wetting the sheets, she closed her eyes. Maybe she can’t do it after all. For now, she’ll stay in and rest. Just this once, she didn’t have to go through the motions and satisfy society’s presuppositions. Maybe, it’s time to try  to loosen and sever the society’s suffocating leash and bonds on her marionette’s life.

Of make-believe princes and damsels-in-distress.

At a very young age, we were subjected to believe that love is a thing that everyone has a privilege to have. For girls, we were read fairytales and the image of a perfect prince riding on a white horse is imprinted on our minds. We were forced to believe that someday soon, our prince, too, will come. This prince will sweep us off our feet and take us away to his castle, to live that ever cherished happy ever after—a basic childhood fantasy. And so for a while, we hope and wait, believing that all of us have their destined person and that he exists as our soul mates, our missing half.

For boys, as a child, they used to live in a pretend world of strong and might superheroes and powerful kings, with the thought of being the one to protect people and save damsels-in-distress. They are exposed to playing roles of dominance and glory. To some, prestige and honor becomes higher up in their priorities than a life of commitment, passion and love. Some other would believe that girls are just trophies for all the wars they have won. Some would grow into men who would treat girls like weaklings, trying to do everything on their own. And to a select few, girls would be like precious gems, very laborious to even reach. Nevertheless, there would always be a pre-existing notion of what love is supposed to be.

And then we grow up, we live our lives and for the first time, uncover pieces of the truth. With each year, we unmask the harsh reality that sometimes, love isn’t available for all. Yes, there lucky ones who find their persons and live their childhood fairytales together.But for others, true love became absurd, an impossible thing to come by. We find ourselves in destructive relationships that make our past faith in the love to crumble into dust. Some find themselves completely alone, all hopes of a prince to come thrown away into nothingness. So I guess what I am trying to say here is that expectations, no matter how little they are, would always render us pained and hopeless when a contradicting reality sets in.

The more books I acquire, the deeper I sink into my own little world of solitude, farther away from reality and from anyone else’s reach.

These are hard times for dreamers.

Dreams compensate for the sorrows and helplessness of reality. In dreams, we stay sane and happy.. at least until we wake up.

Awakening.

In the midst of a peaceful night

Underneath the glorious light

Of bright glimmering stars

Scattered in the vast purple sky

You turned you face to mine

And from your lips escaped a three-word phrase

A soft whisper that made its way

To unknown depths of my soul

Slowly our heads lean in, closer and closer

Our lips almost collided

But with a jolt, my eyes unfold

To a blazing morning light..

Day 07 – Favorite genre

[FANTASY]

-is a genre of fiction that commonly uses magic and other supernatural phenomena as a primary element of plot, theme, or setting. Many works within this genre take place in imaginary worlds where magic is common.

Yes, this is exactly my favorite book genre. Even though a lot of people say it’s a childish genre, it won’t change how I feel. I firmly believe that no one is too old to like fantasy books and movies. I know that it’s not good to stay in the land of dreams and make believe, and that we’re supposed to keep in touch with what’s real but I just can’t help myself.

All of these fantastic worlds of magic have been my escape when reality is too much for me to fathom. I like to be lost in some place far different from what’s around me. Harry Potter, Narnia, Neverland, Camp Half-blood, Wonderland, Whoville. All of those imaginary worlds written by brilliantauthors have been my happy place. Whenever I read about them, I feel free and forget my problems even for a little while. I would give anything to actually be a part of those worlds.

But I am not stupid, I know there are limitations. I can imagine and hope all I want for everything to be real but it won’t change the fact that I live in the real world. I have to go back and face my own monsters. And I get the strength and inspiration from all of these books. Truly, I would never get tired of this genre because it has so much more to offer.