The blaring sound of the alarm shook her awake, remnants of her disrupted dream still left hazy patches on her mind. It was good dream, could’ve been better, she thought.
It’s the weekend and yet she’s already up early. With the rays of the awakening sun just starting to snatch peeks behind tangles of stray clouds. She was alone in her house, as always. It has been this way ever since, with her preferring isolation, finding solace and basking in the silence of solitude. But today, she was to go out with her scant friends and pursue her meager attempts in socialization. Friends. The people who only remembered to invite her at the last minute.
As she was taking a shower, in preparation for the coming day ahead, it dawned on her how everything was probably going to turn out. She’ll dress up, put on a bit of make-up, add on a plastered smile to at least look presentable and mask the weariness. Then she’d meet her friends around the corner and head for the mall to watch a movie, or to the park, or wherever else they might think of to chill and kill time. A little bit of talk here, a little reminiscing of the past years and a moment of sweet nostalgia there. There they’d go, catching up with whatever hullabaloos, making snide comments, witty remarks, even slightly offensive jokes.
These were the things normal people do. Normal people who don’t have pathetic lives. Normal, interesting, joyous people like these stuff. The thought exhausted her. All the pretense and efforts to look like she was savoring their company just to maintain an up to par and acceptable level of social status was slowly getting her down. Whoever said that this was how it’s supposed to be? Everything was so repetitive and routinary, it feels fake. It’s as if their lives have been pre-dictated, like they were ignorant marionettes with unbreakable strings, forced to dance and play over and over again.
These thoughts continued to occupy her head even as she finished her bath. As she stepped out of the bathroom, she headed straight to her bed, slumped down against her pillows. Hair still dripping, wetting the sheets, she closed her eyes. Maybe she can’t do it after all. For now, she’ll stay in and rest. Just this once, she didn’t have to go through the motions and satisfy society’s presuppositions. Maybe, it’s time to try to loosen and sever the society’s suffocating leash and bonds on her marionette’s life.