I am fascinated with the strange looks I get from my friends whenever I finally find the book that I’m looking for in a bookstore. It’s like they are seeing a deranged and crazed person and as if they want to deny even knowing me. They just can’t believe how much happiness and satisfaction a single book can give me.

Just a tiny bit of Doctor Who contemplation.

Re-watching the finale of the 4th season of Doctor Who, Journey’s End, and I sort off got creeped out. The prophecy of Dalek Caan says that the Doctor’s most faithful companion will die. Now, I know that this companion was supposed to be Donna Noble but looking back, I think the prophecy was real somehow.

You might be wondering what the hell I’m talking about, that maybe I’ve gone bonkers. But see, three years later, Elisabeth Sladen aka Sarah Jane Smith—one of the Doctor’s faithful companion—died of cancer. Well yes, I know that it couldn’t have been connected and that it was just a TV show but you’ve got to admit, it’s somehow weird. Maybe it’s just a very strange coincidence or maybe I’m just thinking about it way too much or maybe I’m crazy. But damn, Doctor Who sure is ruining my life. It’s getting so deep inside my head! Gaaaaah. But what can I do? It’s just so fucking good to let go.    

On raindrops and whatnots.

It stopped raining just a few moments ago. It been drizzling constantly every night this past week. I don’t even know why I take note of the day’s weather. Recently, I’ve been feeling weird and I don’t know when this started. I just feel like there’s nothing making me excited these days. Though I have a lot of things in hand, I feel as if I’m a zombie doing things absent-minded. It’s strange because I feel nothing, like I’m just being controlled or manipulated by some force but not actually taking part in these daily activities. I don’t get it. I go to parties, hang-out with friends, do thing I usually love to do, but then it seems as though I get bored easily. Ever felt hallow, starting to lose every emotion you have like yo don’t give a fuck what’s going on anymore? That’s exactly how I feel right now. What is happening to me? Am I just letting my freak side dominate my whole being? Will this change? Am I that weird now?

I am happy.

I don’t really know why but I feel so light this day. It may sound weird, but there’s actually no special reason for it at all. Well, this is a change for me. I usually feel down and gloomy.