Numbers by Rachel Ward

Reading a summary of a book which has a main character that can see a person’s date of death in her mind by merely looking at their eyes was definitely the reason why Rachel Ward’s Numbers caught my attention. The anime/manga Deathnote and the movie, Final Destination, immediately popped into my head while reading the gist at the back of the book. Yes, curiosity got the best of me and I decided to get a copy and read it.

The story starts with Jem, a shy quiet girl who tends to spend her time alone and away from people. She might as well be considered as one of the weird kids at their school, not talking much and always keeping a low profile. But how can anyone blame her for being that way when she is carrying around a dark secret she has known all her life? How do you interact with the people around you when one look in their eyes would mean you suddenly knowing the day when their lives would end? And that is how Jem’s life has been for as long as she can remember. This burden is became the main reason why she avoids any kind of relationship with people. In her mind, it would be impossible to be close to anyone when every time she looks at them, the numbers appear, a constant reminder that they will eventually be gone.

That is her way of life until she met Spider in one of her usual chill spots. What started out as mere mutual understanding between two weird introverts blossomed further into a unique friendship. Maybe even more than that. Suddenly, Jem took chances and risks she never thought she can handle. She was drawn into a new kind of experience with Spider beside her. But then during a date in London, Jem foresees a tragic accident, which changed everything. All of a sudden they were blasted into a catastrophic chain of events that would turn their worlds around.

I have to say, I really have mixed feelings with this book. I very much enjoyed the first few chapters as I can strongly relate with Jem’s personality. Like every other teenage loner, we both contemplate with things that aren’t exactly spoken out loud like death. To her, death is a constant thought but not in a suicidal way, it’s just a basic fact of life. We all live and we all die at some point. It is the undeniable truth. And given her unusual sight, I think death would really be part of her every day life.

Halfway through the book, I felt bored and the storyline seemed a bit of a drag and was dull. I wouldn’t reveal any spoilers but let’s just say that I feel that the events did not seem to connect with the premise of book. To me, it became more like a teenage romance, a bit like watching Skins, instead of a mystery/fantasy genre the book promised based on its gist. The book did not quite satisfy the level of adventure and thrill I was expecting. At some point, actually most of the time, the events were very predictable. That, plus I did not feel the excitement I usually get when reading these kinds of books, honestly lessened its appeal to me. 

But then as I neared the end, I was a bit caught off guard as I turned to the very last page. I was a somehow disappointed about one anti-climactic event but what happened after was certainly a cliffhanger and somehow lifted my interest a little. I think I would still want to read the sequel, but not any time soon. Oh, and maybe one redeeming quality of the book was that it is very much quotable. It also makes you think about things as it poses a lot of questions about life. I mean, if someone can tell you the day you will die, would you want to know? If you do, what would you do when you realize that you only have a short time left to live? All in all, this book is a 3.5/5 for me.   

Cracked Up To Be by Courtney Summers

We all have this notion that popular girls have it easy, that their lives are perfect, untainted and flawless. And our brains are rattled when these girls suddenly throw away everything and destroy themselves. We wonder what have gone so wrong that they decided to abandon their seemingly godly lives. But of course what we do not know is that maybe, all these could just be facades, tough masks to hide what’s buried underneath, like turbulence hiding under the calm surface of the sea. Sometimes, these people are actually the ones who have the cruelest monsters, silently gnawing at their very souls.

Enter Parker Fadley, the girl who has it all. Well, more like had. Parker was cheerleading captain, a straight A+ student, and the girlfriend of the most popular guy in high school. Yes, she is the girl who’s got everything, the one everyone in her high school envies. But then out of the blue, Parker went from being the perky popular girl to a self-destructive loner. She dumped her boyfriend, got intoxicated with alcohol and drugs almost everyday. Suddenly, she was out of reach but in a negative way. She is still popular but due to other reasons. People now shy away from her like she’s garbage and no one seem to bother as to why the sudden change of attitude. Parker cut every connection she had with her friends and locks herself up in her own tangle of emotions. To everyone’s eyes, her life is definitely spiraling down the drain and nothing or no one might be able to stop it.

But here comes Jake, the new student who seemed very interested with Parker. This persistent guy wanted to pierce through the walls that Parker created around her. No matter how much Parker tried to push people away, Jake’s will seemed unyielding. He knew that the old Parker is in there somewhere. He somehow knew that something went seriously wrong for a girl like Parker to just throw away everything she has. But will he be able to uncover the truth and become Parker’s salvation? Is he ready for whatever it is that Parker is so desperately keeping secret?

In this book, Summers was able to weave a beautiful picture of life as teenager dashed with all the awful, harrowing ingredients like sex, depression, drinking and such. In this book, it is possible to love and hate the main character at an equal extent. To be honest, I thought I wouldn’t be able to finish this one because the first chapter was all about the main character’s bitchy attitude. And I just cannot seem to sympathize with that kind of personality. But then as I trudged through more pages, I suddenly understand where she was coming from. How could you live with yourself after experiencing what Parker had? If you knew that someone would be in deep trouble, would you help pr would you let your fear hinder you from doing the right thing? And that is what this story is really about. What would you do if in every waking moment of your life, your conscience haunts you? Will you find the courage to speak up in order to give justice to those who were wronged, or will the silence eat you up forever, knowing that someone’s life would have been better if only you found the courage to be strong? 

All in all, I enjoyed the book very much. The flashbacks really helped the readers get a glimpse of the past Parker, and somehow let us picture the change that happened better. I would give it a 4/5.

Book geek dilemma #5: When a close friend wants to borrow your book and you have doubts about lending it. It’s not because you’re being selfish, but you just don’t trust them enough about handling and taking care of your precious book.

Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen

Scarlett and Halley have been best friends for quite a long time. They’ve been with each other for so long, that they’re practically sisters. 

Scarlett is the more outgoing one. She is good in interacting with people, easily made friends in school and is actually considered popular. She is the stronger one of the two. She takes care of her single mother. She is the one who consoles Halley when things went bad. Halley, on the other hand is the shy type. She is not very sociable. Before she met Scarlett, she’s almost invisible in school. She is the good kid, close to both her parents and play by the rules. This may be because of her mother being a successful therapist. She is usually referred to as Scarlett’s bestfriend and she was fine with that. 

Everything was that way until Michael, Scarlett’s boyfriend, died in a motorcycle accident. Suddenly, it was Halley who needs to be there for Scarlett. Halley was now the shoulder to cry on, the strength Scarlett needed. And just when they are trying to move on, another problem surfaced. Scarlett is pregnant with Michael’s baby. 

With all that, Halley and Scarlett struggled through their life trying to live as normal as possible. They work so hard to make end meet and find comfort with each other. Scarlett decided to keep the baby and Halley promised to support her decision through it all. Things went good for both of them. 
And then Halley met Macon, Michael’s best friend, and started to fall for him. The two began dating and ended up together. Things were well but then Halley started to change. Macon influenced her to cut classes, go to some parties, smoke and drink. This didn’t go unnoticed by her mother, and the usual inseparable pair drifted apart. 

Will Halley be able to realize that her life is slowly crumbling as she became closer to Macon? Will Scarlett be able to reach through her, to pull her back to her senses before the worst comes? Will their friendship withstand all the problems they have to deal with? In this Sarah Dessen book, another gripping issue about teenagers is tackled. At what point is a girl ready to give up her precious virginity? Is it really an essential thing to do in order to maintain a relationship? Yes, this book is all about love, friendship, trust, virginity, family and responsibilities. At such young age, Halley and Scarlett will learn how much they need each other and how to value themselves above all else. Sometimes, we have to be hurt in order to realize our mistakes and gain something from the experience. 

It’s an overall 3.5/5 for me.

Sometimes, I wish for someone to just take my hand, grip it tight, look into my eyes and tell me everything is going to be alright because he/she will be there for me no matter what.

But the sad part is, I never get to have my wish come true..

Yes, I have trust issues, big time.

I don’t how my parents taught me as I grow up. I don’t recall them telling me lots of food for thoughts and all that bits of wisdom. I just remember one thing from them that I truly live by. It’s that you cannot give your trust to people who have failed you, even just once. My mom told me this when our past housekeeper begged my mom to let her work in our house again. My mom didn’t allow her since she caught our housekeeper stealing money from us. See, it’s very hard to earn people’s trust. And in just one wrong move, one step out of the line, all that hard work can easily be gone. It’s true for me. I find it hard to trust people when they had wronged me once. Sure, I can forgive them but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have doubts on their actions and words and forget what they did. People may say that second chances should be given to people who made mistakes. I know that but that does not mean that I wouldn’t be cautious and prepared for another mistake that might be made by that person. It may not look good to others but I am that kind of person.

So much for a good model.

All my life I thought that a good relationship should be about trust, communication and love. From both sides. That’s what I worked out from school, friends and family. Guess I got it from all the wrong sources. I used to think that my parents should be my perfect role model for love. But now, I see how wrong I was. See, my dad’s working abroad and we’re here in the Philippines. I thought that they were doing just fine with that long distance relationship they have. Or so I thought. My mom learned how to use facebook. And from then on, the suspicion began. She tried getting the password of my dad’s account, and she did. Now, every morning she checks his account looking for things that might tell that, somehow, my dad’s being distrustful. At first, I was fine with it, but then it gets worse. Worse to the point that she reads all his messages and tried chatting with his “friends”. It’s too much. I thought that they trust each other. I mean, I would be mad if my mom did find out that there’s something fishy going on, but not in that way. It’s like being untrustworthy to my dad too. I don’t know what to do. I just want them to stop. I just wish that, if ever they have issues or something, they’d talk about it. It’s bothering me. How could I even know how to fully trust people if my parents, themselves, can’t teach how to. 

“Don’t think or judge, just listen.”

That’s just the thing I wish I could tell everyone. I just finished reading this book by Sarah Dessen. At first, I thought that it was just another mushy teen novel. After reading a quarter into it, I thought, “How stupid was I to think of that?” It’s more than just a story of a girl losing her friends and gaining a new one in a sticky situation. It’s about some truth about life itself. This book showed me a lot about how almost every one of us are afraid of telling the truth and holding back a lot of things. It shows people how it is alright to open up and give in to what keeps nagging us. It shows that the courage to speak up may turn our lives over, for the better. Not only did I realize how same I was with the characters, but also how I wanted so much to do the very thing that the main character did. I am so afraid of what others people might say or how disappointed they may be if I say what’s on my mind, that I held back on almost everything I want to express. Sometimes, it’s better to let it all out and just let others understand the plain truth, unmasked and raw. I could read this story over and over, and still learn so much from it.